Costa Rica!!!

Bible Study #2

2007-06-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

6-25-07...2nd Bible study at Siña´s casa

So a few nights ago me & Amy went with Ronald to Siña´s house to have another Bible study. It was with her & Theresa (lady from church). I couldn´t totally understand wat he was talking about at first because he talks really fast & I have to super focus on what he is saying. I mean I undertstand everything he says, but I have to focus and translate it in my head, and then put it together like a puzzle. Well, I don´t exactly know everything he said or the point he was trying to make, but what I did understand during his lesson was about our appearance and faith. He asked Siña to describe what Amy was wearing. After she described Amy´s apparel Ronald was saying that she knows what Amy is wearing because she can see it, but we can´t see God. We know he is ther, but we cannot see him. So sometimes it can be difficult, but because of faith we know he is real and we know he is present.

It is kind of interesting and astonishing that the word of the Lord can be preached and told to people with different languages. What Ronald said to Siña is something I have heard before, but in English. It is just so amazing that the word of God does not change, but it can be changed-translated into tons of different languages. The ¨goal¨ , if I may, is the same...to know, love, and live for the Lord.

So the study continued and I don´t remember how he got to this point because there was a lot of fast talking going on, but it lead to an analogy of a clean house. Ronald was telling Siña that if she knew someone was coming over to her house it wouldn´t be a mess (not that it was a mess ... it was spotless) , or she wouldn´t want clothes lying around...thus she cleans it up because she doesn´t want people to see her house messy. Similar to herself...He said that he assumes that she likes to look her best because she was dressed up & had makeup on, so appearance must be an important thing to her. Which lead to him discussing our insides, or heart for the Lord. Ronald made the point that if our interior is not clean, and if it is not cared for hen it will not matter how dirty or clean our house is, or how mçnice we look on the outside because it is our inside that matters. God knows our hearts and sees into our innermost being, and so it is important to have our hearts pure for the Lord.

Anywho this Bible study was pretty good. I felt more relaxed than I did the first time, and I wasn´t so scared to talk whenever Ronald asked me to read from the Bible or explain what I thought about a certain verse or idea. I also can see a difference in Siña. She seems not so burdened like she did the first week I met her at the Bible study. She is a really nice lady & she has the CUTEST daughter ever, Paula. I just hope and pray that God can continue working in Siña so she can fully dedicate her whole self to Him without any hesitation.

FIRST Bible Study...

2007-06-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

6-08-07...First Bible Study with Siña...

It was about the first or second week of being in Costa Rica that Ronald invited me & Amy to attend a Bible study he holds for a woman named Siña. (I don´t know if I spelled that right but it kind of sounds like sin-yuh). Anywho...that first night of the Bible study Siña, Theresa (a lady from church) and this other woman named Mariella were there. It was quite an interesting experience, and it wasn´t quite what I expected. Siña seemed really interested in the Bible, and she said that she has been praying and that stuff in her life has occured and she knows it is God. We began looking and some passages in the Bible...Ronald even asked me & Amy to read...IN SPANISH...then he asked us what we thought about the verse we just read! Hello! This was like our first week here, and I´m already explaining what a verse in the Bible meant to me...IN SPANISH! Anyways, it was at that moment I realized I cannot communicate my thoughts or feelings about God very well. I mean I do okay in English, but now in a whole different language. I did my best of course with my explanation of the verse, and told her something like God is the only thing that matters and helps you. Well, after that great in depth interpretation of that verse (sarcasm) Siña started talking about her mom. She told us that she invited her mom to church, or maybe talked about God with her... I couldn´t tell but her mom would reject that idea, and that her mom had a lot of problems. Then she said that about 2 months ago her mom committed suicide. Siña was crying and saying how she is having similar troubles her mother had, but she does not want to make the same choices as her. She felt like her mom´s death was a wake-up call of some sorts, and she knew she needed God in her life.

Of course I got teary-eyed because she was crying hardcore, but I just wish I could´ve said more. I told Ronald that too. He said evetually I will learn more Spanish and I will be able to communicate better. I kept on thinking that I wanted to learn Spanish for my family, to be a billingual teacher, etc. but I forgot my real first true reason why I want to learn to speak Spanish...and that is so I can minister to those who speak Spanish. It is just another way that I can communicate the love I have for the Lord to those who speak Spanish. I really need to be patient with myself during this learning time, and not give up so quickly when things get tough because Spanish grammar is pretty tricky sometimes. After all I am learning Spanish not for anyone but the Lord, so I can do his will and be able to be an encouragement and light for those who speak Spanish.

La Mujer en el Autobus

2007-06-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

6-19-07...this is the day after my freak out after chapel... God is good =)
So Vivi (Viviana) from our church asked me and the girls if we could go with her to her English conversation class because it would help her with her English & also the people in her class would enjoy having native English speakers in the class. P.S. she´s studying to be an English children´s teacher. Anywho, so that day after class we left to the bus stop to hitch a ride to San Jose. This was my first public transportation bus ride & it turned out to be a very memorable one.

There were a lot of people on the bus, so I had to sit at the back with some random woman I didn´t even know. In my head I debated whether or not I should ask her how she was. I don´t even know why I was debating that. It really isn´t a huge deal, but down here you just don´t randomly speak to strangers. Well, I did! I asked her how she was doing & she said good. Then she asked me if I live in San Jose since that´s where the bus was going and I told her no. Then I told her I (and the girls) were going to help our friend Vivi in her English conversation class since we know English. The woman told me that I spoke Spanish well. WOW! What a big compliment! And I told her that I was trying to learn. She asked me where I was from and I told her from the US-Texas. Anywho...

I came to find out that she is from Peru, and has barely lived in Costa Rica for one month because her husband has his job here, so they have to stay here instead of Peru like they planned. She asked me if I was here on vacation and I told her that I was in Costa Rica to study Spanish & to help out at a church. Then she asked me if I was a Christian, and I told her yes. Then the woman started telling me how she is a Christian too, but she is upset because she has not found a church congregation here because she barely moved here so it makes it harder to find one. I could sense by the way she spoke she was truly genuine about missing fellowship and going to church. So I told her that I thought it is important to be part of a congregation because it helps us, lifts us up, and is encouraging, etc. And...
she asked me if she could have the directions to the church because she would really like to go! AGH! I flipped! OFCOURSE I do not know the directions of the church but I gave her the preacher´s (Ronald) phone numbers, my name, and the time & days of church. OH! and by that time I found out her name was Melina. (I don´t know why I didn´t ask her name when I started talking to her?)

Melina seemed really excited about church, but she wasn´t as excited as I was! She was really sweet and friendly. To think that I wasn´t going to greet her with a little hello, how are you! WE said our goodbye´s and I got off that bus feeling so happy & light as a feather. I was floating on cloud 9. I pray that she calls and visits the church, or even finds a church home somewhere else. I was for sure blessed by her than I blessed her. This was a boost & a reminder from God that he is with me and he is going to use me while I am in Costa Rica. Sometimes I feel like I am a dud not doing much for Him, but I need to remember always that even small conversations on the back of a crowded bus can become and are a great thing for God. He can take all the those small things which I overlook many times, and use them for greater things to further his kingdom.

May I be able to see those small things that God puts in my way each day in Costa Rica, and in each day in my life.

Capilla (Chapel)

2007-06-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

*Warning* This was written Monday June 18th... I just needed to vent, but I felt better after I did! After I did I felt waaaay better, and the next day was great. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. Sooo... don't freak out... I am doing way better & God is handling everything. I just needed to let it all go!!! Thanks! Have a super day!!! :)

So I flipped recently in chapel. This week at school they are having spiritual emphasis week, so we decided to attend. I don't even know why I flipped... well I do but I don't. I sat next to Gabby (she works at the school, really nice lady) and then during the speaking/singing she told me (and the other girls) that we are extraordinary women & all of this other stuff, and all of a sudden somewhere in her sentence I started to burst out crying. Even during singing I felt choked up. She just held me and hugged me and said something to me. Then we were singing a song that goes like...I'm desperate for you...I'm lost without,etc. I'm sure you have heard it, and I couldn't even sing because if I did I knew I was gonna cry more. Then a lady speaker came up and started talking about her experiences, and her missionary life in the Dominican Repuplic and how during that time she was desperate for her husbands approval, desperate to understand the language, and other things, but she wasn't desperate for God like she should have been. Like she got lost in all this other stuff. Well, I figured that I am desperate for Kelsey & Megan and my friendships, desperate for my mom and my family, I'm desperate for love & acceptance from this group I am with, and I am not desperate enough for God. I am desperate that he solve my problems, confusions, lonliness, and other what not, but not for Him. I'm focusing on all this other stuff that doesn't even really matter but I'm just freaking out about it all.

I'm scared that I am not going to change. I'm angry because I feel confused. I feel like if these feelings I'm going through right now are going to mold me into whoever God want me to be or glorify him in the way he want, then He needs to get a move on because I want to get them over with because I hate feeling incomplete & not like myself. I feel like a failure sometimes & like I am not doing anything for God. I feel like when I go back home I'm not going to have changed, and all this time I am worrying or whatever I could be putting my energy into God and his kingdom, but I don't even know how to do that because I'm in a different country, with a different language, with different people! I can't express myself, not even completely with the group I am with, and that makes me feel like I am jipping them from the gifts & talents that God has given me. I need to get over myself and give everything to God because I sure haven't and if I had given him all of this I most likely wouldn't be lonely, upset, confused, and what not. I just need to chill and trust God. I feel like he's distant, but I know he is there. We always want everything cheery with sunshine and rainbows, but it just doesn't work like that. Jesus didn't have rainbow days every single day. In my weakness he is strong, well he must be super strong right about now because I am weak. I just don't want to be a dissapointment after this 8 weeks is over. I promised myself and prayed that when this trip is over I leave knowing I gave it all I could, I go back home tired and drained because I gave my heart to the people and to God. Maybe this is part of my draining process. Hopefully it doesn't last too long! People continually tell me in emails and in phone calls that they are praying for me, but I still feel rather helpless. I need to step it up a notch and look to Jesus more than I have been. I need to be enouraged because I have people praying for me. God is good all the time, even though I don't feel that good all the time. He said to "rejoice and be glad" did He mean that even when I feel like this? I guess he did. May God continue to be with me and may I not be blinded by myself and the way I feel because I do not want to miss out on what He is trying to reveal to me while I am here in Costa Rica.

* Ok... now that you read it just remember... I am TOTALLY ok! It was just one of those moments where you have been holding it all in & somethines makes you pop. SOOO just one more time... I am fine & the next day I saw God tremendously! So take a chill pill because God is good all the time!!! :)

The Funeral

2007-06-20T11:01:00.001-07:00

Recently I attended a funeral here in Costa Rica. It was for Papa Juan's mother. Juan is married to Rosa and they are housing Jen and Adrienne while we are in Costa Rica. They are members of the church as well. They are really nice, and funny. Anywho... the location of the funeral was beautiful. I suppose because everything is green full of mountains is why it was so pretty. It was really sad though. During the time we were at the church a man was speaking about how this isn't our home, and now Papa Juan's mom is at home with God. During the "sermon" time of the funeral I started thinking about how hard it would be to lose a family member close to me, and although this might sound morbid I started thinking about my grandma and how I just want her to be with me forever. I thought about how important my family is to me. No matter how much they get on my nerves or drive me crazy I love them terribly, and I need to cherish each moment I am with them as if it was my last. Papa Juan had talked to his mom the day before, and then the next day she was gone. I even think they had somewhat of an argument when they talked. I don't want my mom, sister, grandma, or anyone close to me "leave me", and I for sure do not want to remember our last words or time together in a "tiff". I know we are all going to leave this world someday, but it kind of hit me at the funeral. I just realized that I really need to change some of my ways and instead of complaing or being a Debbie Downer to my family I need to be joyous and full of encouragement. It is difficult though, but I need to get over myself and just love no matter what. Anyways, the funeral was interesting and very moving.
Well, I just need to not take things for granted, especially my family. And Adrienne made a good point when we talked about the service. She was saying that it really hit her when the preacher man was tlaking about being friends of the world. It clicked that we are all connected. People in Costa Rica, in the US and everywhere struggle with many of the same things, and struggle with things of this world. It kind of put things into perspective. Although the country, people, culture, etc. are different the word of God is never changing. God is never changing, he is always the same. That is kind of reassuring because I have mood swings sometimes, and I know that I am constantly changing. Why be friends with a world that is not constant, and unsure? God is always the same and always there full of love.

Estoy en Costa Rica

2007-06-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I am in Costa Rica. Hmmm? Where do I start? I guess I´ll tell you about my family that I am staying with. Me and Amy (one of the girls on this trip) are staying at Ronald Martinez´s house. He is the preacher of the church we are going to helping. What we are doing at the church I am still unsure. I know that we are going to help out with the youth with activites and what not, and then we will probably teach classes for the lil´ones on Sunday´s, but other than that I think it´s just wherever and whatever. Anywho... Ronald has two daughters Alejandra, 19 and Adriana, 16. He also has one son, Esteban, 14. His wife is named Nora, and there family is so nice! There are so caring and make sure we are cared for. The other two girls that came on the trip live with a family from the church.
Our first night here was very interesting. It´s kind of a long story, but I guess I will shorten it as best as I can. Whenever we arrived at the airport in San Jose we went outside to many many people holding up signs with names, but there was no one holding a sign for us. So we just waited inside and figured Ronald would arrive. Well, we eventually figured out that there was a lack of communication between us and many other people, so we pretty much didn´t have a ride. So here we are 4 girls ALONE in a DIFFERENT country. To add to that Amy didn´t have her luggage because it was somewhere in Dallas! With the help of some amazing airline taxi people we tried to figure out what to do. So we looked up the number to the Spanish Language School that we are attending, but it was closed...OH did I say it was about 11 o´clock at night? Then finally after a few new ideas we found Ronald´s address and telephone number. Of course he did not answer since it was so late, but we thought maybe it would be a bright idea to go look for the house in the taxi and just show up. Hmmm? Yes we might be in college, but some ideas are not so bright.
So on and so forth, after we went out late at night to a shady place we realized that we just needed to go to a hotel. After going downtown almost at midnight looking for hotels that didn´t cost 7534570234987289345 dollars (exaggeration) we found one. The taxi man was so nice. He made sure that we were at a place that was not peligroso (that means dangerous). We were so blessed to have someone so kind because you know he could´ve tried to take advantage of our situation, but he didn´t. (Thank you Jesus.) Soooo anywho... we stayed at the hotel, the next day we reached Ronald and he picked us up, and here I am now. Safe and sound!
I guess I learned from that experience to communicate with people, and don´t expect others to do it for you. Also... don´t judge a book by his cover because that taxi man was really nice.
I´m glad that God was looking over us 4 girls that night. I´m sure he will continue to look after us during this journey in Costa Rica!